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THE KILLERS OF COMEDY
By Chris McMurry
In a world of political correctness run amok, it’s comforting to know that we still have the Killers of Comedy here to make us laugh at the things we’re usually afraid to find funny. These entertainers, best known for their appearances on the Howard Stern Show, captivate crowds with two hours of stirring stand up comedy that covers everything from lighter fare such as sex, substance abuse and midgets to higher brow topics like race relations and politics with much the same balance The King of All Media has exhibited on radio, TV, in books, and in film for the past 30 years.
With Stern’s days of traveling the country to do live shows in remote locations behind him, the Killers of Comedy have assumed the role of visiting fans in places far from Sirius Satellite Radio’s home in midtown Manhattan. While they haven’t made it to the other Manhattan (in Kansas) yet this year, they’ve been to L.A., Philadelphia, Boston and even tiny Chambersburg, Pa., among dozens of other cities and towns.
This group will tell you that attending one of their shows is more like a rock show than a traditional comedy show. They’re right.
Sure, there’s plenty of conventional stand up from the likes of Rev. Bob Levy, Shuli, Yucko the Clown, Sal Governale, and Richard Christy, but if asked, each of them would quickly admit that the big draw for their shows is Beetlejuice, an African-American dwarf with a small head – or as Governale calls him in his act, “a black, retarded midget.”
The Killers of Comedy are a must-see for any Howard Stern fan, or really just anyone who can appreciate live entertainment that pushes people’s buttons, especially that one button that makes us laugh out loud – even if all of our inhibitions tell us we shouldn’t.
REVEREND BOB LEVY
How did you get the name "The Reverend"?
Jackie the Jokeman Martling made it up for me ‘cause I’m a vulgar slob.
How do you think you are going to do in your upcoming bout with Danny Bonaduce?
I’m gonna knock the freckles off his face. He’s going down.
Who will you fight next if you win?
Illiteracy.
You recently opened Levy’s Comedy Club in Levittown, Pennsylvania. How is it owning your own comedy club?
It’s going ok. It sucks dick that people from all over send me tapes, like I’m gonna watch them over porn..assholes.
How did you get started in comedy?
My buddy pushed me into it.
What is your best memory on stage?
I don’t remember.
What is the best comedy club you have played at?
All are great! I love what I do.
What was the worst comedy club you have played at?
I have no memory, sorry.
Who is the best roommate to have on the road? Why?
Beetlejuice because he’s smarter than Sal.
Who is the worst roommate to have on the road? Why?
Sal. He cries when I smoke, then he goes outside and puts on a black glove and smokes, he looks like Michael Jackson.
Who is your favorite comedian?
Me.
Has being a comedian helped you get laid?
My dick just yelled yes!
How heavy was the fattest chick you have ever been with?
170. I hid for five days.
Give us your best joke?
Fuck off.
At what show did you get the most inebriated?
Most of them.
Where will you be in ten years?
In a diaper.
Where was your best stand up performance, where did you kill and when?
Pittsburgh with Artie Lange. 3000 gave me a standing ovation and I got blown...well, by Sal but it still counts, right?
What was the best thing a fan ever did for you?
Hand me bags of coke. Gotta love the fans!
Favorite Drink?
Green Gatorade.
SAL THE STOCKBROKER
How is the transition going from being a stockbroker to working for Howard Stern?
There really is no comparison. Being a stockbroker was a job. working for Howard is having a dream come true. To do something you truly love is a blessing.
What happened to your rap career, why didnt you make it in the music industry?
It wasn't a career, it was an embarrassment. I really did love rap as a kid and in retrospect it was a ridiculous attempt at music. The good thing about it was that it generated some good laughs on the show.
What is your infatuation with Gary Dell'Abate, and how did you coin the phrase "Horsetooth Jackass"?
Back in 95/96 Gary would screen the calls. I would call in and prank him for fun and tape them for my own delight. The phrase horse tooth jackass came naturally.
How did you first get on to the Howard Stern show?
I was first on the show in 1996 when Stuttering John heard my prank cassette full of Gary the horse tooth jackass pranks.
What is the best thing about
working for Howard?
Just having the privilege to work with the greatest entertainer in the world is hands down the best thing about my job.
Of all the fictional characters you have created for your prank calls, who is your favorite to play and why?
I have so many. My pranks are like my children. There’s a unique fondess for each one.
Which stunt did you enjoy the most on the Stern show?
Though it was the most painful for me, it appears that the fans loved watching me getting my balls shocked by a dog collar. Paintball gun would be a close second.
Which stunt did you get the most grossed out by?
Kissing Richard Christy’s taint. There’s nothing good about that.
Will you and Richard finally "go all the way" before the Stern show comes to a close?
You'll have to wait and see.
How did you get started in comedy?
I started a few years ago at local clubs. KC Armstrong put the Murderers Row together with Rev. Bob Levy. I would go to the shows and the guys would give me some stage time. I've always loved stand up and knew it was one thing I wanted to do whether I worked in radio or not.
What is your best memory on stage?
Living on Long Island my entire life I would have to say doing a weekend at Westbury Music Fair was without a doubt a great memory.
What is the best comedy club you have played at?
I love ‘em all. Whether it be an arena or a small club it’s the fans that always make the shows special.
What was the worst comedy club you have played at?
Aside from doing shows now, the worst place I did was a joint in NJ called the Crazy Monkey. It was such a shithole. It looked like a run down subway sandwich shop with a plywood stage, 2 shitty speakers and a flimsy karaoke microphone that even Toys-R-Us wouldn't sell.
Who is the best roommate to have on the road? Why?
Richard Christy. We just always have a blast.
Who is the worst roommate to have on the road? Why?
Richard Christy. Even though he's the best, nosepicking, farting and body odor can sometimes get the best of you.
Who is your favorite comedian?
Comedy is so subjective so it's hard to say. As far as clean comics Jim Gaffigan. Dirty: Bob Lev. Edgy: Nick Dipaolo. Best story teller: Artie Lange. Creepiest: Jim Norton.
How heavy was the fattest chick you have ever been with?
I didn't weigh her.
At what show did you get the most inebriated?
Recently in Easton, PA. I got so hammered I started repeating my jokes, then I apologized to the audience, went back into more jokes that I’d said and had to be removed from the stage. It was very funny, but for all the wrong reasons.
Where will you be in ten years?
Miserable.
Where was your best stand up performance, where did you kill and when?
Westbury Music Fair. Being from Long Island and killing in my home town was a phenomenal experience.
What was the best thing a fan ever did for you?
Laugh. They work hard, and pay good money to see us. When they're laughing there's no better feeling.
Favorite Drink?
Kettle One, splash of pineapple. Bars are so fucking cheap these days that you have to make the juice a "splash" or you'll end up with a drop of booze.
RICHARD CHRISTY
Going from being a metal drummer to comedian, which career do you enjoy more?
That's a tough one. I would probably say I enjoy being a metal drummer more because I loved the touring life, traveling on a tour bus, flying all over the world, etc.
Are you still looking to get back into touring with a band?
I definitely want to keep all options open for when Howard finally retires so I could see myself going on tour and recording again. I play guitar and write music almost every night and I'm hoping to record an album of my music sometime next year.
You once lived in a storage facility in Florida, what was the worst thing about it?
One night at about 3 a.m. I was horrified to feel a huge Floridian cockroach running down my face and onto my chest. I immediately jumped out of bed and turned on the light to see the little sucker laying on my futon looking up at me.
How did you first get on to the Howard Stern show?
In the late 1990's I started leaving voicemails that were often played on the show. Most of the voicemails were left for former producer K.C. Armstrong and were homosexual in nature so I became known as the guy who rags on K.C.
Of all the fictional characters you have created for your prank calls, who is your favorite to play and why?
Definitely Grandma Ethel. She reminds me of so many sweet old ladies that I knew back in Kansas where I grew up.
Which stunt did you enjoy the most on the Stern show?
I loved when Sarah Silverman smelled my testicles after I didn't shower for several days. I thought it was so absurd and silly and hilarious. Sarah is such a good sport to do something like that and I have so much respect for her because I can't think of any other celebrity who's offered to sniff someone's scrotum just for fun! The topper too was that Howard Stern also took a close whiff of my sack!
Which stunt did you get the most grossed out by?
I can't stomach Jeff The Vomit guy and in 2005 I had to hold a microphone next to Jeff while several women vomited on him. It made me so sick that I ended up vomiting on Jeff as well.
How did you get started in comedy?
I've been writing stand up material for years but never had the balls to get up on stage until I went out with Sal to New York Comedy Club one night in February 2005. Right now I'm just a guy lucky enough to be able to get on stage and talk about wacking off and other goofy stuff.
What is your best memory on stage?
My best memory of doing comedy is performing in front of four thousand people in Lakeland, Florida at the Lakeland Civic Center, the same venue where Iron Maiden and Slayer has played! My parents were in the crowd so I was extremely nervous, but I ended up doing very well which can be pretty tough in an arena.
What is the best comedy club you have played at?
It's always exciting to do stand up at Caroline's in New York City on Broadway. It's such a legendary place and it's an honor to perform there knowing that so many legendary comedians have stood on that stage.
Who is the best roommate to have on the road?
I'm closest with Sal out of all the guys so he's the best roommate to have. We definitely have a bromance going on!
Who is the worst roommate to have on the road?
Gary the Retard is a tough roommate to have because he's very touchy feely. He's a really nice guy but he loves to slap you when he's happy and sometimes it hurts!
Who is your favorite comedian?
Steve Martin is a comedic genius and I've admired him since I was about five years old. My mom used to play me his comedy albums and I saw The Jerk in the theater when I was six years old.
Has being a comedian helped you get laid?
Not at all, neither did playing the drums and touring the world unfortunately. I went ten years without getting laid, I didn't get laid all throughout my twenties! I know tons of porn trivia thanks to my limited sex life!
How heavy was the fattest chick you have ever been with?
I've actually never been with a plump woman.
At what show did you get the most inebriated?
I don't ever get too loaded before I perform because I don't want to forget things.
Where will you be in ten years?
Being interviewed for the tenth anniversary of the Killers Of Comedy interview in Chilled magazine! Seriously, I'm hoping to still be working in the entertainment business. I would love to write, direct and act in horror films. I've been a massive horror movie fan since the night my parents took me to see John Carpenter's ‘The Thing’ at the drive-in when I was eight years old.
What is your favorite drink?
This always changes because it depends on the time of year. I'm very much into holidays so in October it's Pumpkin Beer, and in November and December it's Egg Nog and Apple Cider with Spiced Rum. Probably my favorite drink year round is Champagne. I can drink a bottle or two in a very short time, I love it. There's a drink I love called a Flirtini which consists of Vanilla Stoli, Pineapple Juice and Champagne. When I order it at a bar it sounds pretty sissyish so at my favorite bar in Manhattan I've convinced the bartenders to change the name from The Flirtini to The Lumberjack.
SHULI
What was the best news story you ever exposed on the Stern show?
My favorite story I did for the news was an intervention with Joey Boots who was in a really bad way due to booze and cocaine. Joining me for the Intervention were Jeff the Drunk, Wendy the retard, Eric the shit cock midget, and Gary the retard. The Intervention ended with Joey boots passing out from coughing so hard from taking a hit of weed that he fell off the chair.
Who do you hate the most on the Stern show?
I really wish that I could pick someone and tell you that I hate them but to be honest everyone here is so cool and so friendly and it truly is a family and they have accepted me no questions asked and I love them all for that. John Hine is a cock sucker.
How did you get your first break into the Stern show?
I called in when I lived in Vegas, got thru my first try, and after that I kept calling in with more stuff. Games, questions, stories... anything to contribute to a show that has entertained me for so many years.
Where did you come up with the phrase Shalom Biatch!?
My rabbi gave me the idea.
How did you get started in comedy?
Got tired of doing construction, bussing and waiting tables, and pushing fat fucks in wheelchairs at the airport. I have had any and every shitty job known to mankind and one night I said fuck it I have always enjoyed making people laugh so why not try it. So I did.
What was the worst comedy club you have played at?
The club that doesn't let me smoke weed before my set.
Who is the best roommate to have on the road?
Everyone has there pros and cons. I mostly share with Beet and while he is very entertaining (pros) I hate having to look around the room see what Beet has touched or used in the room and realize that I cannot touch or use any of those things. It's like a checklist of shit he has contaminated. Don't get me wrong I love the guy to death but you have to understand the guy will shit his pants in Texas and blame it on a friend in NJ, so you have to be able to adapt to anything.
Who is the worst roommate to have on the road?
Levy. He never shuts up about work. He is a nervous mess ‘cause usually he is off booze or drugs for that weekend and will be so far off that wagon by the time the show starts it's ridiculous. If I had a dollar for every time Levy told me he was done smoking, drinking, doing blow, pills, etc. my last name would be Gates.
Who is your favorite comedian?
Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison and the great Don Rickels.
Has being a comedian helped you get laid?
Look at me, of course it did. I have the hottest girlfriend, all thanks to comedy and my sense of humor. Once I got her to come over the duct tape took over for the comedy. Most of the places I performed at before working for the Stern Show you didn't want to get laid, you just wanted to get your fifty or hundred bucks and get the fuck out of there. Now that I am doing the Killers shows there are tons of hot chicks that come to the shows; unfortunately all the fat chicks come out to see me. So I am very happy with my girlfriend and thanks to her I get laid all the time. HEYYYY OOOOOO!
How heavy was the fattest chick you have ever been with?
Deuce, deuce and a half.
Give us your best joke?
Give me some money mother fucker. I'm a real Jew, nothing for free.
At what show did you get the most inebriated?
The last one…I get high before, during, and after the shows. I don't drink much and because of that when I do drink I'm good for about 3 to 4 shots and I am toasty. As high as I am I function just fine, in fact I like it better that way. I don't feel like I need to be stoned to do a set but I am much more relaxed and focused when I'm high and by the end of the show I am ready to eat a fucking horse.
Where will you be in ten years?
Outside Howard's apartment begging for money to get a pack of smokes.
Actually I really don't know where I will be in 10 years. I hope in show biz. When I came out to NY for my audition with the show I never thought I would get this far. I had confidence in my ability but just didn't see it going like this and I am so happy where I am that if it all ended tomorrow I would be a happy man for the rest of my life.
Where was your best stand up performance, where did you kill and when?
My best performance I would say was Pittsburgh Heinz Hall with Artie Lange. 3000 people and they could not have been a better crowd. You could hear a pin drop during the set up to a joke and what sounded like an earthquake coming down the street when they laughed. They gave me applause breaks and I am a huge Steelers fan so it was an awesome night all around and I will always remember that show.
What was the best thing a fan ever did for you?
They keep doing it every weekend we’re on the road, they hook me up with weed and I love ‘em so much for it. Instead of trying to get laid after the show, I hook up with 3 or 4 stoners, go back to my room or the parking lot, smoke up, hang out and laugh. Sometimes I don't have time to smoke with people and I tell them all to hang out while I try to take pics and sign anything the fans want. Sometimes they get tired of waiting and they take off but the real cool bros slip me a joint or a bud and say, "It's cool bro, I know your busy, check some of our towns finest." That's the greatest things the fans have done and continue to do for me.
What is your favorite drink?
Tequila Patron Silver
BEETLEJUICE
How is it being a big star? Do you get a lot of women?
I’ve always been a star. I’m married, you fucks a lot of women? She would beat my black ass.
Do you miss your old buddy Hank the angry drunken dwarf?
Me? Hank’s dead you stupid mother fuckers.
Whose ass do you want to kick the most and why?
Sal. He’s a fucking asshole
Who do you hate the most on the Howard Stern show?
Me? I hate them all.
How did you get started in comedy?
What’s he talking about?
What is your best memory on stage?
Hey man, they’re all the best.
What is the best comedy club you have played at?
Me? The one last night.
What was the worst comedy club you have played at?
This guy’s a fucking pain in the ass with all this shit.
Who is the best roommate to have on the road?
Shuli. He gots the weed.
Who is the worst roommate to have on the road?
The Shiek, he’s a little bitch.
Who do you like the most on the Stern show?
Me? All of them.
Who is your favorite comedian?
Me? Ah, me or Bob Levy.
How heavy was the fattest chick you have ever been with?
No fat chicks here.
Give us your best joke?
Me? Give me 10 dollars.
At what show did you get the most inebriated?
Me? What the fuck is that?
Where will you be in ten years?
Me??You dont wanna know, ha ha.
Where was your best stand up performance, where did you kill and when?
Me? Last night. Last night, you fuck.
What was the best thing a fan ever did for you?
Suck my cock, hahaha!
What is your favorite drink?
Vodka, mother fucker.
YUCKO THE CLOWN
Where did you get that clown outfit?
Where did you get that question? Who wrote this shit? Ya nosy cocksucker?!! Nah, I don’t know, some rundown costume shop in Brooklyn…It was a shithole! I was waiting on some chink to walk out and sell me a mogwai or some shit.
How did you break into the Stern Show?
I was living in Atlanta at the time, and Howard was never allowed on the air down there. So I protested by holding a huge sign at a Braves game, ran on the field, went base to base, and got arrested. Then I called (annoyingly) KC and Gary and was eventually booked on the show.
You are known as a racist clown, who do you hate the most and why?
I don’t hate anyone except myself! I do racial jokes, but I hit everybody…I make fun of any ethnicity, weight, gender, etc. It’s all in jest..and if you can’t take a joke, fuck you!
Whose ass do you want to kick the most right now?
Yours, for asking these stupid questions, ya prick ya!
How did you get started in comedy?
I got up onstage in 1992 at some little bar and starting telling these horrible jokes…I bombed overall, but I did hear one laugh in the back of the club…One laugh! That’s all it takes to hook you.
What is your best memory on stage?
Killing! Killing on stage is the greatest feeling…it gives you a boner, like you just fucked a chick and can’t wait to do it again.
What is the best comedy club you have played at?
Too many to name! But some standouts would be: The House of Blues’ in Las Vegas and Atlantic City, Broadway Theatre in Pitman, NJ, and The Avalon in Hollywood.
What was the worst comedy club you have played at?
There was this dump we played in Lyndhurst, NJ. It was basically a converted Blimpie or Subway or some shit…the stage was tiny, it held about 12 people all crammed against the meat slicer, sneezeguard, and bread. It was a fuckin’ nightmare!
Who is the best roommate to have on the road? Why?
My hand so I can jerk my clowny cock!
Who is the worst roommate to have on the road? Why?
I usually don’t have any, knock on wood. I know I couldn’t stand rooming with Beet, he shits all over the toilet seat, and smells like cat piss.
Who do you like the most on the Stern show?
That’s fucking easy! Howard! That heebie jeebie kikey jew as done so much for me! I love that guy!
Who do you hate the most on the Stern show?
John the Stutterer hands down! Every time he sees me, he starts and fight and threatens me! All I do is bust his balls like everyone else, but he can’t take a joke, so fuck him.
Who is your favorite comedian?
My top three: Don Rickles, Andy Kaufman, and Bill Hicks.
Has being a comedian helped you get laid?
Oh sure, it even got me married, and much like the rest of my life, it fucked up.
Give us your best joke?
My marriage. Shut up.
At what show did you get the most inebriated?
When the show went to Vegas…I had a whole bottle of Crown Royal, I got so fucked that I fucked and ate that purple velvet bag it comes in!
Where will you be in ten years?
Who the fuck knows?
What was the best thing a fan ever did for you?
Some fan in Texas sent me a waffle iron as a wedding gift, but had I known how the marriage was going to turn out, I would have stuck my cock in it!
What is your favorite drink?
Grey Goose and tonic, with no faggity lime!
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